Peace?

We cannot have peace among men whose hearts delight in killing any living creature. By every act that glorifies or even tolerates such moronic delight in killing we set back the progress of humanity.
— Rachel Carson

I think that our progress is as set back as is possible. Every day and night I am privy to a fraction of the horrors that necessitate the rescue of animals. They are dark. They are grim. They are nauseating and unimaginable. I wonder…these people who perpetrate these atrocities, these shady and masked invaders of all that is right and light, who are they? Newsflash, they are our neighbors, our co-workers, and sometimes someone that is even closer to us then we would like.

The abuse of animals is not exclusive. It is not a bitter pill that we can seal back into a bottle and in so doing the atrocity ends. Research shows definitively that those who abuse animals have deep seated and twisted mental and emotional issues. Often the animal abuse is simply the first step to something grander,a test run so to speak. What does it look like to starve a dog, abuse a dog, kill a dog? After that evil question is answered the likely next step is something bigger with a voice and a will. Something that poses more of a challenge such as your child, their child, your daughter, their wife.The possibilities are literally endless.

I have lived it and I have seen it in my 30+ years in fostering children who are victims of it. What hides it is silence and fear and silence. Feeling that we have no right to interfere. If we are privy to the event, the sinking feeling in the pit of our stomach, the knowing then we have a right. Sometimes what hides it is our fear for ourselves or our family. I say grow a spine America because the animal abuse is simply a heartbreaking test arena for far worse.

On Tuesday night I met a level of sadness and hopelessness that I have kept at bay. I have to. I run the show. I post, I rant, I beg. We get a few donations from mostly the same good people and we go on just as stretched as before. I really soul-searched and suffered through that night thinking about closing the rescue. We are only two people with 3 regular volunteers and one fearless and dedicated foster…ONE! And so I awoke with a plan to tell Karen that we will begin a trajectory to closing. We will reel in the dogs who are out there tethered to our credit card and hearts, adopt everyone out, and find out what life looks like from the light side. We will put on our blinders and let some other poor souls slog into the daily cesspool of graphic photos and pleas for help. I had a good long talk with the Lord about how much suffering is enough…for the animals and for us? How much? He was quiet as always.

I was bringing home injured mice and baby blue jays when I was a child. I was taping legs and bottle feeding. I was marveling then at how brutal my own world was and why that was acceptable. The answer is, in part that brutality has always existed. Man has always been broken. Those that could do something often times don’t, still don’t. It takes bravery, and fearlessness and more compassion for the wronged than for oneself. That sacrifice hurts the saver but it also grows them. I can not look into the eyes of an abused neglected animal and not feel responsible. I can not turn my back and walk away, go out to dinner or put my feet up and read. Their pain haunts me. And so after my night of clarity and setting the course the day kicked in.

I received a call to take back an English Bulldog who had been having issues for over a year. Over a year…and I needed to take him immediately. Not because I have room as the contract states, but because that is what worked for the adopter.I insisted that the training necessary to help this dog return to a happy state be paid, and not by us. That was not going to happen. I said no. Reluctantly I said no.

I received a call about two American Bulldogs being crated 24/7 because of the owners personal problems. I again said that they would need boarding and an assessment by a trainer. “Why do that when we can sell them on Craigslist?” My response, “I can not prevent you from doing that if you choose, so we are out”. I received over 200 pictures in my email box of injured, abused, sad and hopeless dogs waiting to die. They will. The trash bag industry is making a killing (no pun intended) on the killing of innocent animals. We worry about putting Styrofoam and pizza boxes in our landfills. How about a million dead bagged dogs per year! And so, after attending to the dogs we have and drinking copious amounts of ginger tea made by my adult child who feeds me aspirin before bed and, “Worries every minute of every day about the toll that this saving is taking on her mother and caretaker,” I received an email from a Texas shelter saying that our English Bulldog is ready. What English Bulldog? Phone call, text, email….clarity and sinking feeling.

Three weeks ago I saw a very sad looking EB on the website. I emailed placement and asked to tag him. I was told that he was not in the house yet. What? Where the hell was he, out to dinner? It turns out that a community member had found him and kept him, because as the shelter said, “He was an EB.” The dog was sick and they reached out for help. The shelter told them, “Treat him or surrender him. He is ill.” They surrendered him. And so, did this ill dog go to medical for assessment and care? Nope. He was put on the adoption floor. Yesterday he was adopted for $25 and sent off to surgery for neutering…..yes neutering. While being prepped for surgery, the adopter was told that they had to sign a paper stating that after neutering he would go to a vet for treatment. What was known about this dog from the first contact with the shelter? The dog was 25-30 pounds underweight. He had very concentrated urine. He had not passed any fecal material in three weeks, but he was adopted and going for neuter. Really? Thank God that the dog the adopter backed out and hence the arrival of the email saying that the EB was ready. Oh yes ad his medical nightmare in his file was sent a well. 4:00 on Wednesday. I am in Vermont. I have just sworn that we are wrapping up and closing. Shit! Can I say shit in this rant? It is mine so I guess so. There are x-rays which I look at and have FAXED to vet. We are on the phone in minutes. This is a dog so impacted that his bladder cannot empty. His colon is twice its normal size. We agree to take him and have him brought to the clinic and the start of treatment. His bladder is drained, enemas given, pain meds and blood work. There is a backup plan for emergency surgery. We are on the slippery slope.

Karen arrives after work and I deliver the news which she accepts with a nod and a swear or two and , “What else can we do?” Nothing. She is gracious. That is the reality. Because of who we are. We can do only one thing for this starved, painful and neglected dog. What can you do? Help. Don’t buy coffee for a week or go out to dinner. Share this post far and wide because without substantial help we will close. The estimated bill for this boy if he does not require bowel resection is $1200. We are in. Are you? Please donate thru Paypal on our website as this is a tax deductible donation. If you prefer to call and donate to the clinic directly email me at; staurolitefarm@aol.com and I will provide vet information.